1. Don’t take Benadryl for the first time then try to drive somewhere.
2. If you try to kick your heels in your office (just to see if you can still do it) someone might…possibly…hear you running about and jumping…and grunting. Maybe have a few explanations on hand for these types of situations. “I’ve got to get new shoes I’m always tripping!” or how about “How did that ceiling tile get out of place? Had to fix it!” Anything would probably work, no one would think you were jumping around and clicking your heels…sneaky!
3. The best way to persuade someone to buy an Australian Shepard puppy is to constantly text them pictures and jokes about said puppy until their subconscious WANTS…NO…NEEDS a puppy. (Sorry Manfriend)
4. If a semi-truck doesn’t have it’s blinker on…its probably still turning. Just wait your turn. No need to cause an accident and make people AN HOUR LATE FOR WORK.
5. If you come over a hill and see two miles of traffic backed up…turn around IMMEDIATELY. FOR THE LOVE OF BUBBLEGUM, TURN AROUND.
6. If you are deep into a traffic jam in your little car, in between two huge semis, trying to turn around is futile because you probably can’t see and every time you try to inch your tiny car into the other lane the truck behind you honks at you because the oncoming traffic is…oncoming. Please return to #5 and memorize.
7. Remove the flimsy paper label from your water bottle. Failure to do so will result in grip slippage, causing a squeezing reaction which in turn results in an unwanted shower/fountain like explosion. Walking around work with wet pants is not fun. Consider me Miles Davis.
8. Your Manfriend will never be as excited about your wagon wheel centerpiece idea as you are.
9. If you want to run your own jewelry business, and need more time to make stuff, think about having your family members hide all of your movies and TV remotes. I said THINK about it…don’t get all crazy now.
10. Take your camera EVERYWHERE. I have so many memories of photo ops when I didn’t have my camera. They haunt me.
|One photo op I didn't miss!|